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Still Slavery, but Fun-Fun Sillytime

They should mail you balloons whenever you make a student loan payment, and/or a button. It would make economic slavery seem so much less daunting. And plus, with all the buttons, you could open up a button store and sell the buttons to those who didn’t pay their loans, thus perpetuating their debt, but decreasing yours. Provided the market for student loan payment buttons is as booming as statistics show…

Shit My Brazilian Boyfriend Says In English

I love my baby, meu gostoso, ALL the way. But fuck all if he doesn’t say the darnedest things in English! He is learning, and he is much better in English than I am at Portuguese, but still—I can’t help it! I’m a hater and my baby is a damn right comedian with every cute grammatical mistake!!

Baby, it’s so cold… I’m turning to rice. (Ice)

Baby, I argued with the girl at work and she told me to grow a pear! Why I gonna grow a pear for?! And in this weather the pear tree cannot even survive! (Grow a pair)

…. Those new shoes are yours? The ones you posted on Facebook? …. They are so ungly. I cannot believe you can wear them outside! (Ugly)

I am teasing my boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean you can! :P No malice intended to other Portuguese speakers learning English, because he teases me the same way in Portuguese!

Nipples and Nipple Holes

Theoretically, everyone has nipples. But does everyone who has nipples also have nipple holes? Do men have nipple holes? And if someone does not have nipples, do they still have the holes? Just curious.

Judging without Context

DISCLAIMER: I’m whining right now. If you don’t care for it, move on. If you read and complain about my whining, move on even faster. And don’t say “don’t whine; do something”, because I am doing something.

I am an artist. I put myself into my work. I direct all of my energy into everything I do. And it does not become my work, but just work. It is divorced from me when I decide I am finished—when the process of creation is over. But don’t you DARE see just look at it and take to the my inbox, telling me that what I did was offensive because you saw the word “pussy.”

Yes, I called men pussies, but if you read the work, you would know that I am likening men to big cats—lions, tigers, leopards, cheetahs, and kittens. Yes, I used “pussy” because it gets attention, but the point is for you to take that attention and READ the piece, not see the title and decide it’s derogatory toward women. The piece is a deconstructive essay, and to be completely honest, it is examining men in a way that they are usually never examined. It takes a hold of the gender binary and flips it, allowing sexually disenfranchised (women and gay men) to pick apart the “more powerful sexual agents” and turn them into two dimensional pieces to be easily consumed.

Of course, there is more work to be done and it isn’t completely finished, but seriously, you only saw the poster. You didn’t read the whole thing. Piss off.


Holy fuck.
That is all.
(Except…I defy you to not open your mouth when they do.)

I don’t know why I made this. Holy shit this is nerve wrecking. Err… Happy Red Pants Monday. 

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What’s a man to a great man? What’s a great man to a king?

You Think I’m So Cool… BUT I’M NOOOOTT!!

I’m not cool or thrifty.. I just buy clothes I like from the second-hand store because I’m too poor to buy them first-hand at the fancy stores.

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Why I Created this Blog…

I cry.

I cry that embarrassing tearless dry-heave-sob that you can only hear if the walls are thin and the cat’s being quiet for the first time.

How is it that I work as a marketer?

This is such an irony…..

I’m an artist and a writer… I’m good at wrapping lies in pretty packages.

People don’t need the shit I sell; I only believe in maybe 10% of the artists that come through into our warehouse.

"Driving up sales" is the topic of the next team meeting we’re having tomorrow.

School has taught me to look at it as a challenge; I see it all as a game. Get more praise if I get the answers right; AND I FUCKING LOVE GETTING ANSWERS THE FUCK RIGHT!

But anyway, I’m in the middle of totally downsizing. Loans, rent, bills, and escapsim… I need austerity. The time to be a child is completely over; as a marketer whose job it is to appeal to the childish impulsiveness of customers, I personally cannot afford to succumb to the same techniques I employ to promote the economic slavery I am against for myself…

So I created this blog to help tame the dissonance of having an anti-late capitalism consumerism value set and a job that is literally the exact opposite of that.